Ok, it's pretty obvious that we have been on and off, and finally its off for good. Well, does it prove my point to say that I am happy without Ben and even if he were to get into a car accident, I probably, actually NO I wouldn't give a damn. It is a big problem when the guy you date is way older than you but sadly way more immature that you are.
The best thing that he did for me was to break up with me. I am a softy and I feel bad when I break people's heart, hence a lot of time i try to be a bitch so that they can be the one that initiates it. But this time, I was just a bitch because he was a complete asshole.
Like I wrote on my facebook profile: if you are self centered, selfish, only think of yourself, only hang out with your family out of obligation, act like you are in high school, inconsiderate, and video games and yourself are the main focus of your life, then we cannot be friends, don’t bother talking to me. LOL serious, don’t talk to me we will not get alone.
obviously these are traits within a person that I cannot stand and these are traits that he embodied. I love the man, but I hate him at the same time with all my gut.
I am happy and I am ready to move forward with my life. He expects to date someone that will be his bitch and raise his children without him in the picture so that he can go and do whatever it is that he wants, well I am not that person. I want a father who plays and nurture my children.
GOOD RIDDANCE! YOU ARE MY BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT....
Friday, July 2, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
This is very hard
to love someone and have his entire family hates you. That is what it feels like. It is also harder to try to make a dying relationship work, often times I find myself realizing that I am the only one really fighting for this and he is just going with the flow. It's us against the world, if we don't believe in our love then what is left to hang on to? I am a hopeless romantic and with each passing day my belief that love is the glue to every relationship begins to fade away. Love isnt enough anymore in this kind of world. I don't belong in a world like this. I feel so displaced.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sometimes the truth hits you and it HURTS
Sometimes you depend on people for the little things, just to see if they will be there for you. Because if they can be there for you for those meaningless moments, though meaningful to you, moments, they will be there for anything. If your tires popped they will be step away from TV, studying for a midterm to get there and help you. If you are sad they will accompany you to get boba or go to the the cliff and chat with you. These are the little moments that you will never forget.
But people who throw money at you to buy your love you can never depend on. Friendship is priceless, its the time and effort and love put in that make it meaningful.
He can buy me NY, Vegas, Itouch, Phone, but when I need him most he ignores me for video games, AS ALWAYS. Some people are not dependable and are not good companion. I hope I will never end up with someone like that. He hurts me often, it is time to let go and move on to something better. I will find someone awesome and he will be with his video games.
he lives a lonely life and is a lonesome soul, i tried and now i have given up.
CONS: doesn't try, half ass everything, selfish even towards family, looks down on people, doesnt respect people, acts like he is still in highschool, egotistic and self centered.
But people who throw money at you to buy your love you can never depend on. Friendship is priceless, its the time and effort and love put in that make it meaningful.
He can buy me NY, Vegas, Itouch, Phone, but when I need him most he ignores me for video games, AS ALWAYS. Some people are not dependable and are not good companion. I hope I will never end up with someone like that. He hurts me often, it is time to let go and move on to something better. I will find someone awesome and he will be with his video games.
he lives a lonely life and is a lonesome soul, i tried and now i have given up.
CONS: doesn't try, half ass everything, selfish even towards family, looks down on people, doesnt respect people, acts like he is still in highschool, egotistic and self centered.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Released and Moving forward
you're absolutely right, you are a jackass. if you think us arguing about your jackass-ness is worst than all of your exes cheating on you , then i have nothing more to say. i am sorry that i cannot fake a smile for the world to see like you can. and if you can sit there and brag about how you have made your mother and your sister cry and why i am not an exception, then GOODBYE you are the WEAKEST link. GOOD RIDDANCE.
this was what i wrote on facebook earlier, realizing that by writing this i am stooping down to his level, something that i never want to do. an eye for an eye is exactly how he operates and i have never been that way, until i have met him. this relationship has a negative impact on me and thus it is only logical that i move on. if he can sit there and asks, "if the last six months has been so horrible then why are u still with me" then i really have nothing more to say. obviously love does not equate to anything for him but sex, presents and money. the commitment, the loyalty, being there day after day despite the pain means nothing. he try to say that he has done his part to remedy the situation because he went out of his way to invite me to dinner, bullshit, texting is not going out of ur way.
when someone walk away crying as a result of your action, if you really love them and wanted them, you dont let them go. "watch your habits for they become character, watch your character for they become your destiny" (anonymous) funny how you quote something but dont understand what it says.
cried my heart out, slept for 12 hours, now ready to live again. the last two weeks was splendid, until he re-entered my life. yes i still love him with all my heart, but u cant force someone to love you back. it takes effort and dedication, something that he doesnt believe in. he thinks his texting is an adequate manifestation of love but i beg to differ.
life is falling into places for me, the puzzles are fitting together and my hard work is graciously rewarded. it is raining outside, god is crying for me. though tears are not flowing down my cheeks, i am crying on the inside, which is manifested in each rain drops that is falling. soothing, relaxing, and comforting to know, someone sympathizes with my pain.
someone once told me "pain is weakness leaving the body" i am getting stronger.
this was what i wrote on facebook earlier, realizing that by writing this i am stooping down to his level, something that i never want to do. an eye for an eye is exactly how he operates and i have never been that way, until i have met him. this relationship has a negative impact on me and thus it is only logical that i move on. if he can sit there and asks, "if the last six months has been so horrible then why are u still with me" then i really have nothing more to say. obviously love does not equate to anything for him but sex, presents and money. the commitment, the loyalty, being there day after day despite the pain means nothing. he try to say that he has done his part to remedy the situation because he went out of his way to invite me to dinner, bullshit, texting is not going out of ur way.
when someone walk away crying as a result of your action, if you really love them and wanted them, you dont let them go. "watch your habits for they become character, watch your character for they become your destiny" (anonymous) funny how you quote something but dont understand what it says.
cried my heart out, slept for 12 hours, now ready to live again. the last two weeks was splendid, until he re-entered my life. yes i still love him with all my heart, but u cant force someone to love you back. it takes effort and dedication, something that he doesnt believe in. he thinks his texting is an adequate manifestation of love but i beg to differ.
life is falling into places for me, the puzzles are fitting together and my hard work is graciously rewarded. it is raining outside, god is crying for me. though tears are not flowing down my cheeks, i am crying on the inside, which is manifested in each rain drops that is falling. soothing, relaxing, and comforting to know, someone sympathizes with my pain.
someone once told me "pain is weakness leaving the body" i am getting stronger.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
New Year New Life
after two weeks of having this feeling like something was wrong with this relationship i finally broke it off last night. things will never change if nothing happens or if the other person refuses to take action. i am sick of being patient, loving and caring toward someone that will only be nice to me when it's profitable or when it benefits him. his mom even told me and i have realized this for a long time that he has cheated on me with his game and yes he has. i stayed with him for two weeks in loneliness. we were so close yet so far, stuck in a 10x10 room and it felt like miles away. his focus was on his game and mine thinking about things we can do together to have fun, all shot down because he is obsessed with this game and refused to leave the room.
he is irritable from lack of sleep and when i urge him to go to sleep he gets angry. either way i lose. i cannot make him happy and he is unable to make me happy when he is like this.
i give up. love hurts, but it shouldn't hurt like this. i respect myself better than to date someone who is selfish and only cares for himself.
part of me knows that this is for the better. but as everyone girl knows when u break up there is this sense of hope that he will say sorry and ask for you back. honestly, i still have that lingering hope. for him to come with flowers and say that he is sorry. but the man's pride is his downfall and the contributor of my sadness.
i love you....despite all of your flaws, but it doesn't seem that you can love me the same way. that is the harsh reality of things.
he is irritable from lack of sleep and when i urge him to go to sleep he gets angry. either way i lose. i cannot make him happy and he is unable to make me happy when he is like this.
i give up. love hurts, but it shouldn't hurt like this. i respect myself better than to date someone who is selfish and only cares for himself.
part of me knows that this is for the better. but as everyone girl knows when u break up there is this sense of hope that he will say sorry and ask for you back. honestly, i still have that lingering hope. for him to come with flowers and say that he is sorry. but the man's pride is his downfall and the contributor of my sadness.
i love you....despite all of your flaws, but it doesn't seem that you can love me the same way. that is the harsh reality of things.
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